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Kale & Quinoa Salad

This Kale & Quinoa Salad is a favorite in the Bradow household. Other than some chopping of veggies and cooking the quinoa it’s super easy and a great make ahead salad for lunches during the week. Could be served with some grilled or rotisserie chicken or in a wrap for a grab and go meal also.

I hope you’ll try it soon and let me know how you like it! Enjoy!

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Do We All Just Need to Slow Down?

Maybe we all just need to take a minute, sit back, and relax…

At my previous job the company took cyber security seriously and would send us test phishing emails from time to time. I got 2 in the year+ I was there and failed the first test. The email came in, I glanced at it – something to do with a new copier/scanner or something like that, telling me I had a document that had been scanned to me – and promptly clicked on the attachment. Cue sad, defeated music. I knew immediately that I should not have clicked on the attachment, then about 10 seconds later, I got a pop-up telling me that it was a test and I had failed. I knew better than to click on that weird looking attachment or open that email from a sender I didn’t really know. I was just in too much of a hurry to take the 3 seconds to actually review the information and take the appropriate actions. If I had just slowed down a bit I would’ve passed the test.

And really, I think this is a good lesson for life in today’s go, go, go, fast-paced, 80 miles per hour, information at our fingertips, instant gratification world. We all just need to slow down, to be more present, to play the long game – even if the “long game” is only 3 minutes from now.

Road in the Badlands. Credit: Noah Bradow

Plan ahead for less road rage…

I see the need for this so often when I am driving – and I myself and guilty of this as well at times. We are all in such a hurry, but why? What will happen if you’re 2 or even 5 minutes late to wherever you’re going? The world won’t end, most likely no one will die. So next time you’re confronted with someone cutting you off in traffic, take a deep breath, relax, and realize that it won’t matter in 5 minutes that they cut you off. Let go of the road rage. And likewise, the next time you’re in a rush and confronted with the option of cutting someone else off in traffic – don’t do it. Let them go ahead, you can slip in behind them and you’ll still get to where you’re going. And maybe think about leaving a couple minutes earlier next time. 😉

This elk in Rocky Mountain National Park is mindfully munching his morning snack. Credit: Noah Bradow

Slow down for more mindful munching.

I also see this in the way we eat. We are constantly trying to multi-task while eating (and working; and living). Watching TV, scrolling through our phones, eating at our desks at work while still trying to work. I myself am guilty of this as well, especially when I eat a meal alone. I mean, are my own thoughts so unbearable that I need to distract myself with some other form of information consumption? And we are in control of our thoughts so if they aren’t serving us we can work to change them, but that’s a whole other blog post for a different time.

I digress… The point is, eat more mindfully (more info coming soon on that!). And multi-task less. By eating more mindfully you’ll probably enjoy your food more and eat less – which would be a good thing for most of us, I assume. And really multi-tasking doesn’t work. We cannot do 2 things at once. If you’re scrolling through your phone, you’re not really tasting your food, not really cuing into your hunger or satiety. At your next meal, try turning off the TV, putting your phone in a different room and sitting with your thoughts about the meal, or actually having a meaningful conversation with your companions for that short time while you share some food.

Sunrise. Mountains. Coffee. Credit: Noah Bradow

Savor the special moments life gives us.

And what about holidays and other special events? Shouldn’t we all just slow down and savor that time with family and friends? I find that as I get older, time does seem to pass by more quickly. If we slow down, put our phones down, and make an effort to be truly present, these holidays, special events, and traditions will be even more meaningful. I recently saw a quote from Gretchen Rubin about not doing less or doing more, but doing what you VALUE. If you value time with family and friends then also make the effort to savor that time together.

Be the master of your emotions.

We can also apply this theory/method of slowing down to our emotions. Instead of always reacting to something slow down, take the time to recognize your emotion, acknowledge the feeling, and deal with it accordingly. Some emotions may not serve us in the moment and it might be beneficial to try to change how we respond to those emotions. Rage and anger rarely result in positive outcomes – either through our own destructive or self-sabotaging behaviors or in how we treat others. And what about emotional eating? Often, if we slowed down enough to recognize the feeling we are having – boredom, sadness, frustration, etc. – we could recognize it for what it is and utilize a different behavior to deal with that emotion. Journaling, talking it out with a friend/relative, going for a walk, meditation, exercise are all usually more helpful ways of dealing with these emotions rather than turning to food.

Another way to think about dealing with emotions in a slower, more thoughtful way, is to practice responding, rather than reacting. A response inherently requires a thoughtful approach to a situation, done after some time thinking and preparing; whereas a reaction generally comes immediately and without much thoughtfulness or rationality, and often, not always, but often enough comes with detrimental consequences that could’ve been avoided had we just slowed down to respond rather than react. This again, takes practice in mindfulness and being present in the current moment.

So, my challenge to you in this busy, busy modern world is to: BE LESS BUSY and DO MORE QUALITY THINGS IN LIFE and less quantity of things.

And remember: the only things you have control over in this crazy world are your effort and your attitude. The outcome and the outside world are out of your control so take a moment, breath, relax, and slow down ever so slightly to really enjoy the brief trip around the sun each of us has.

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A Love Letter

Ahhh, February, the month of Valentine’s Day. Maybe you’re thinking more about who you love right now. Regardless of how you feel about this holiday there is something to be said for expressing your love, gratitude, and appreciation for the people who mean the most in your life. Here’s my love letter to the people who have made my life better lately.

A love letter to…

Myself, to Outwild, to Noah, Emily, Joanne, Travis, and Aiden, to my parents, and the rest of the world –

I feel like I’ve changed a lot in the past several months. I mean not changed who I really am but changed how I view the world and gained clarity on my values and the direction I want my life to go.

I went to Outwild in September 2019. What an amazing retreat! A week after that event I felt like a changed person. I knew there was momentum I didn’t want to lose after that awesome experience. I re-learned and experienced first-hand that it’s okay to be vulnerable, that it’s okay to share yourself with the world, it’s okay to have dreams, and it’s okay to act on those dreams. I re-learned that we shouldn’t be afraid of our dreams and not acting on those dreams is worse than trying and failing. I re-learned that the only failure is not trying.

Thank you to all the inspiring Outwilders I met. I made some new friends which I was beginning to think was nearly impossible as an adult. I discovered that I can be brave again. I was brave, bold, and courageous in my teens and 20s. Frankly, at times, I didn’t give a shit about much of anything and just did whatever I wanted. Which, yes, did get me into some trouble, but it also got me so many amazing experiences.

I found in my 30s that I had settled into a routine and a life that I felt disconnected from. I slowly began to realize that it wasn’t the life I wanted. This means it wasn’t the life I wanted professionally. Ultimately, I should be doing something that is fulfilling, something that makes me happy. I know that helping other people is one way to do that. Training and development and wellness coaching are fulfilling to me. Facilitating workshops, public health work, and public speaking are fulfilling for me.

I’ve made great strides in recent months to get back to where I need to be professionally and taking action to move those dreams forward. Progress has come from moving outside my comfort zone, trying new things, asking for help, and being vulnerable. Again, thank you to Outwild for a life-changing event and allowing me the space to re-discover the best version of myself.

Thank you to Noah for being the best, most supportive husband a gal could ask for. You complement me in the best ways and I know that together we can conquer this crazy, wild world.

To Emily – we don’t see each other nearly enough (or ever really) but you’ll always be a best friend. We explored Mexico together, which was such a formative time in my life, and you were there for all of it and so much more that followed.

Joanne, Travis, and Aiden – you all are the best chosen-family anybody could ask for. Your encouragement, our traditions and adventures are one in a million.

To my parents – as an adult I now know that I have the best of both of you in me. My hope is to give the best of me to the world. I also hope you guys are proud of me. Know that I love life and am doing the best I can.

And to the world and all the humans, plants, and creatures in it – we have such a short time here and nothing’s promised so we may as well figure out what we want, what our dreams are, and go for it. It will take a lot of work and it won’t be easy, but it will all be worth it. Know that you can have the life you want and make an impact on this world.

Cheers to health, happiness, and love!

Love,

Alison

***Who do you love? Why do you love them?

***Tell them today how much you love them!

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Mindset Monday: Embracing Change, Chaos and Uncertainty

I like change and variety – it keeps me from getting bored and makes life interesting. Chaos, however, is a different story. I like order and knowing what to expect and being able to plan. I definitely feel that I’ve become more comfortable with uncertainty as I get older…which seems a bit counter intuitive. I’ve always been a bit of a risk taker and held the belief that everything will work out one way or another. After all, worry is a poor use of imagination, no?

One of my intentions for 2020 is to “Embrace the chaos, but control the controllables.” Most of the time we cannot control our circumstances, our situation, or what happens to us. All we can control is how we react and respond to our circumstances. We can only control our effort and our attitude. Both of these take work – some actual labor and some thought/mindset work.

Intellectually I know that overcoming challenges and obstacles are what makes us better and that all the “good stuff” is on the other side of failure and learning from it. But emotionally, the discomfort that comes from even thinking about doing something you might fail at, is a much harder beast to conquer. We’ve got to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. After all, the discomfort that comes with chasing our dreams and overcoming challenges should be much more enjoyable than the discomfort of stagnation and never striving for the next best version of yourself.

How do you key into the intellectual knowledge that uncertainty and failure are good for growth and will ultimately lead to power and greatness and overcome the discomfort and anxiety of fearing failure? Just do the thing? Just take action?

John Maxwell says, “Growth is the only guarantee that tomorrow will be better.” And we can only grow by learning. We can only learn by trying and failing. If you never take a chance to make a change and experience even a moment of uncertainty, you will never know how much you can achieve, how much success, power {internal/mental/emotional/personal}, and greatness you can have. Embrace a growth mindset, embrace change – don’t resist it, and just see what a master of your own life, of your own reality you can become.

Tell Me:

What are your tips and tricks for overcoming uncertainty, embracing chaos, and accepting change? 

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Home is…

Home is… an elusive place. Have I ever really felt “at home”? I grew up in Adrian, Michigan – did I ever really fit in? It surely never really felt like I did.

I lived and studied abroad in Mexico for a year, and what a year it was! That year was filled with some of the best adventures and now some of my most vivid memories. And yet, I came back to Michigan, back to “home,” back to what was comfortable. And here I am over 15 years later wondering where I belong.

Today, living in Lansing, Michigan, I wonder if this small-big city is my real home. Sure, it’s got everything I could ever need. And certainly, my husband is here which makes it more home to me than anywhere else at this current stage of life. But do I truly belong in Lansing?

Because isn’t that what home is? Or should be? A place to belong? A place to really rest your head, and not in the morbid sense, but in the sense of true peace, relaxation, and calm. A place to truly get a break from the hustle and bustle of this crazy, modern, fast-paced world. A place where your mind, your thoughts can be at rest, be at peace.

Maybe home for me is in the woods on a quiet morning or tranquil afternoon, hiking and connecting with nature. Maybe that’s my home…surely that’s where I feel most at peace. If home is where you can and do find peace, then I suppose that’s the answer. That’s where I truly belong.

Maybe the answer to feeling more at peace, to feeling more “at home” is spending more time walking outside, hiking on a trail, being in nature, soaking in the calm, wondrous woods. The scent of pine, the soft carpet of needles underfoot. The mysterious bird songs that someday I should probably learn to identify. The million and one types of flora. The wonder and marvel of re-discovering a place across the seasons throughout a year.

Home for me is being wrapped up in the embrace of Mother Nature. I’m a homebody and an introvert certainly, but being able to spend all my time at home, if home is nature, is the best way to be at home for me.

Tell me: What is home to you? Is it a place? A feeling? A person?

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Get Outside – For Your Health!

And for the fun of it!

Getting outside more can improve your health – and not just in the summertime! Find time to be outside during all four seasons to improve your physical, mental, and emotional health. Benefits of being outside include improved concentration, reduced stress levels, better blood pressure, increased energy, and better sleep. In Japan, the common practice of “forest bathing” encourages people to go outside and take in nature or the wonder of a forest to improve health and reduce stress. Being prepared and finding activities you enjoy will help you get outside more year-round!

Bundle up in the winter months to stay nice and warm while you enjoy outside winter activities like snowshoeing, cross country skiing, sledding, or ice skating. Beat the wintertime blues or seasonal affective disorder by getting outside, soaking up the sunshine and Vitamin D, and breathing in the fresh, crisp winter air. Vitamin D is a great mood and immunity booster!

Don’t let a little rain keep you shut inside – grab a rain jacket and some rain boots to stay dry on a wet and rainy springtime walk. Find a nearby park or nature trail to spot newly blooming flowers and sneak a peak at some wildlife emerging from their winter slumber.

Beat the heat in the summertime by finding a shady forest for a leisurely walk or a more intense hike. Another great way to stay cool in the summer is at a local pool, lake, or river swimming, kayaking, or canoeing. And don’t forget about opportunities to pick Michigan berries at a local farm.

Enjoy the cooler fall temperatures and go for a hike or walk to take in the beautiful fall colors or go apple picking or visit a pumpkin patch with the family. And don’t forget about the great workout you can get from raking leaves!

Take your workout outside any time of year – cardio and strength workouts can easily be adapted for the outdoors with minimal (or zero!) equipment. Great outdoor cardiovascular activities include walking, hiking, running, swimming, or biking. And don’t forget about plyometrics that can easily be done with no equipment or just a park bench – think bench jumps instead of box jumps, jump squats, and burpees. Utilize body weight exercises for easy strength training outside: push-ups, pull-ups on the monkey bars at a park, planks, squats, and lunges.

Go explore and enjoy all the outdoors has to offer, my friends!

Tell me:

What’s your favorite way to enjoy the outdoors in each season?


Originally published in the August 2018 issue of Healthy & Fit Magazine

Sources: Harvard Medical School and NY Dept. of Environmental Conservation


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Embrace the Wonder of Winter

Last February for my husband, Noah’s birthday we rented a small cabin in Northern Michigan for the weekend.

The timing in early February could not have been more perfect as we got up there and had 6 inches (or more!) of fresh snow to play in. Our dog, Jerome, is most definitely a cold-weather dog and LOVES tromping through the snow.

He also really loved the puffy vest I got him for that occasion. We had a great time Up North, hiking in the fresh snow, reading, and enjoying delicious food.

So far in 2020 now half-way through January, we’ve had a relatively mild winter here in Michigan. We had an ice storm over the weekend and Noah, Jerome and I enjoyed a relaxing and productive weekend at home. I worked a lot, but not too much, got some things done around the house, and Noah baked some fresh, oh so delicious, Challah bread.

Both of these weekends were wonderful – I love winter hiking and exploring, there is something about the stillness of the season that is very calming; but I also don’t mind staying indoors sometimes and using the winter weather as an excuse to get some things done around the house that I might not otherwise.

Now that we’re in to the most intense part of winter here in Michigan, I thought it might be useful to talk about ways we can fight the winter blues. After Christmas and New Year’s pass it can be difficult to maintain a positive mindset and focus on all the good winter has to offer when the thermometer dips into single or *gasp* even negative digits and it takes you longer to scrape off your car or shovel your sidewalk than it does to make dinner.

  • Make a Winter Bucket List and plan some fun things to do outside the house or outdoors
    • Don’t jampack your calendar with to-dos – save some space for down-time – but do plan some fun things to look forward to.
    • Try not to be a hibernating hermit in your house however tempting that may sound (we’ll talk about Hygge in a minute). Here some ideas for fun things to get you out of the house, get you moving, and get you socializing:
      • Go to a sporting event – basketball, hockey, volleyball
      • Go bowling, axe throwing, even high-speed indoor go-karting (sounds like my worst nightmare, but if it sounds fun to you, go do it!), or try an escape room outing
      • Plan a spa-day with friends
      • Try a new yoga or meditation class/workshop
      • Go on a winter hike, snowshoe adventure or cross-country skiing. Many locales even have snowshoes or cross-country skis you can rent if it’s your first time trying the activity.
      • Take the kids sledding and have a thermos of hot chocolate and some cups ready in the car for the ride home.
      • A craft (or craft beer tasting) night in with friends. Or a game night – whatever you’re into, but remember that quality social relationships are one of the keys to health and happiness.
    • Anything you think might be fun but you don’t get to this winter, save it for next year’s Winter Bucket List. Work on adding items to your Winter Bucket List all year so that when November/December/January/etc. rolls around you’ll already have some fun ideas ready to go!
  • If you don’t want to brave the elements for some fun outdoors or outside the house – here are some options for making the most of your time inside in winter:
    • The Danish concept of Hygge. Hygge is pronounced “HEW-guh” or “HOO-gah” and means comfort, coziness, or contentment.
      • The practice of hygge varies, but usually includes candles, hot tea or hot cocoa, a soft blanket, relaxing music, or a small gathering with friends. Other elements are being present (put down your phones!), togetherness, and relaxation.
      • Hygge is also viewed as the pursuit of everyday happiness. Reading a book by candlelight with some cozy socks on or outdoor activities like a winter beach walk or a winter bonfire can help you slow down and appreciate the little things.
      • It’s no wonder this practice is a favorite in Denmark as that country along with its Nordic neighbors of Norway, Finland, Sweden, and Iceland often rank as some of the happiest countries on the planet.
    • On the weekend – meal plan, grocery shop (you might actually have to leave your house unless you have a grocery delivery service), and meal prep for the week ahead.
      • Cook up a big batch of soup (loaded with veggies for the week ahead)
      • Bake some yummy muffins for breakfast
    • Don’t wait until spring to do some deep cleaning indoors – clean out a closet, clean under your stove, clean out your refrigerator, organize a drawer/cupboard
    • Have an at-home spa-day with a face mask, DIY mani/pedi, Epsom salt or bubble bath
    • Try a meditative activity like coloring and jigsaw puzzles as a great way to pass the time if you’re stuck inside.
  • Recognize that the “Winter Blues” might be more than a simple aversion to the colder weather, it could be the condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
    • SAD may be caused by a number of factors including: reduced sun exposure (Vitamin D), and genetic, biological, or evolutionary sensitivities.
      • Light therapy can help combat lack of sun exposure – talk to your healthcare provider about options for you.
      • Maintaining your regular physical activity (even if modified for the indoors), and social activities can also help.
      • If the options listed above don’t help, see your healthcare provider who can recommend more intensive therapies – your mood shouldn’t have to wait to improve until the weather does.
  • Another “secret” to battling the winter blues – the Norwegian mindset about winter. In Norway, people see winter as something to be enjoyed, not endured.  Try to see winter as a time to enjoy the peace, quiet, and calm the snow can bring; as a time to enjoy a hot mug of tea or cocoa.

Embrace the winter weather. You cannot control the weather, but you can prepare for it. Don’t fret over the snow and ice – control the controllables – dress warmly, have emergency supplies in your car, give yourself plenty of time for driving on the messy roads, and plan some fun activities to help you enjoy the wonder that winter has to offer. Don’t just survive the winter, thrive during it! Hopefully these tips will help you optimize your time and enjoyment of the winter season.

Tell me:

***What’s on your Winter Bucket List?***

***What fun things do you have planned before winter ends?***

  • I am looking forward to a winter weekend in South Haven Michigan, exploring the shores of Lake Michigan and the downtown shops with friends.

***What are you hoping to accomplish before spring?***

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Feeling the Fear

When was the first time you felt fear?

I remember being 6 years old, at my first swim meet at the Adrian College Natatorium. I don’t remember the race, but I think it was my first one for the Lenawee County YMCA Alligators. It was probably a 25-yard freestyle race – 1 length of the pool, that’s all. I’m sure I had practiced countless hours to prepare for this race. I don’t remember the gun or horn going off, but I do remember being ½ way or less down the pool and absolutely losing it. Did I cling to the side? I don’t remember what lane I was in. Did I cling to a lane marker? Did I tread water? I just remember being frozen. The fear had frozen me in place in the middle of this gigantic pool and I couldn’t take another stroke. I was crying – maybe hysterically.

What I do remember is my cousin, Elisia, jumping in the help me. I don’t remember if we swam the rest of the way to the end or if she helped me out of the pool and I never finished that race. Thirty one years later, it doesn’t really matter.

What does matter is that day she was my hero. She was only 11 years old at the time. Did she know she was being heroic? What prompted her to get in after me? Was it urging from Shirley Morley, the best swim coach on the planet? Was it prompting by the most supportive swim parents on the planet – either my parents or my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Roy, Elisia’s parents? Or was she just the bravest 11-year-old (and eventual state champ bad-ass swimmer) in the whole natatorium? It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that she would be there for me countless other times in my life growing up. And even now that we’re both adults. What matters is she’s the sister I never had. She’s the role model I always needed.

You know what else matters? I swam competitively for 12 years after that. I’m sure there were plenty more times I was afraid. But I did it anyway. (And still have an open-water swim to conquer some fears around…maybe 2020 is year for that – just need to make time for swimming!)

Feel the fear and do it anyway. That’s the saying, right? It’s easier said than done. I’m sure it’s easier when we’re kids. I’m sure it’s easier for some people than others. I’m sure it gets easier the more you do it, right? Flex the fear-confronting-muscles and go for the dreams, right?

It doesn’t matter what will happen in a year, in 10 years. It doesn’t matter what people will say to you or about you. What matters is that you take the action, do the thing, even if it’s scary, even if the outcome is unknown. Because what’s even scarier is not taking action and staying stuck where you are – in life, in your career, in the pool. Feel the fear and do it anyway – YOU ARE ENOUGH regardless of the outcome/success/failure. And if you’re lucky, there will be an Elisia there to help you finish the race if you need it.

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Editor’s notes:

For some context – I just “finished” an 8-week session of group wellness/life coaching and one of the activities we did was the Emotional Clearing Method (ECM). This was pretty powerful (I don’t believe it’s recommended to do on your own – have a professional to guide you) and what prompted this memory of the first time I felt fear. So shout out to Blake and Pivot Wellness for some awesome work – gained so many powerful insights from those 8 weeks and will continue to use the tools I gained in that time.

Also – these photos of Elisia and me are very old – possibly before camera phones were even a thing. I think we need some new photos together!

And finally – my current big fear is “putting myself out there” to get my own wellness coaching business to grow so that can be my main job. Always a work in progress. So know that you’re not alone in whatever fear you may have, we all have fear of something.

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Chronic Stress and What We Can Do About It

What Can We Do About Chronic Stress?

I watched a documentary by Dr. Sanjay Gupta on the plane to Northern CA on my way to an outdoor/wellness/life design retreat/festival las weekend. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to go to this event because I am hopeful it will help me get clarity around some life goals and crafting the life I want to live.

But I digress…the documentary, One Nation Under Stress, details the struggles many Americans are facing today related to chronic stress and the epidemic of “deaths of despair.” Deaths of despair are classified as: cirrhosis of the liver (related to alcohol use), drug overdose, and suicide. Prime causes of these types of death in the U.S. are: social isolation, the depersonalization of society, and the increased stress and pressure middle-class Americans are feeling to just make a living.

Let’s talk about different types of stress. Acute stress, as a result of an adverse event, is not the problem – it’s the chronic, constant, toxic stress that kills. This type of chronic stress results from:

  • lack of predictability, uncertainty, lack of control
  • lack of social support
  • wondering – “Am I valued?” “Do I have a meaningful place in community?” “Do I have a community to rely on?” and “Why am I here?”

Chronic stress changes the brain and impacts the ability to make rational decisions related to thought regulation, action, empathy, and impulse and craving control – making it more difficult to deal with more and more stress. These stress biomarkers affect health outcomes. Some ways we can combat this change in the brain are through mindfulness/meditation and exercise. Try spending time in nature, the box breathing method, or taking a walk outside. These simple actions practiced over time can bring some of your brain chemistry back to where it was before the chronic stress altered it.

Stress Reduction Challenge:

  • Find your community, your tribe – people who support you and know your value, people who allow you to feel your place in the world
  • Reach out to someone who seems isolated – this will most likely be good for both of you! If you feel isolated, don’t perpetuate that – reach out even though it’s hard – don’t let the hurt and isolation turn to despair
  • Cultivate quality social relationships – with your significant other, family, friends, co-workers – strangers who might become a new friend. Having quality social relationships is one of the greatest predictors of health, happiness and longevity.
  • Re-evaluate how you’re spending your time and money – do they reinforce your values and bring you meaning?
  • Focus on what you DO have, not what you don’t – cultivate an abundance mindset and you will long less and less for what you don’t have, and appreciate more and more what you do have. And remember that wealth doesn’t necessarily equal health.
  • Look for opportunities to cultivate compassion and empathy – radiate loving kindness near and far.

Photo credits: Noah Bradow

Is Balance a Myth?

I wrote this post a few weeks ago when I had to make a choice between going to a family event and working on some professional activities. This issue comes up again and again for me – which tells me that either balance really is a myth and we are in a futile cycle to keep striving for it or I’m just not doing a great job at balancing…(?)

**************************

Work-Life Balance. Family-Work Balance. Work-Relationship Balance. Health-Work Balance. Take your pick…

Life balance is like multi-tasking – it doesn’t work. There is no way to be balanced with all the things we are doing in life. Whether it’s 50-50, 33-33-33, etc. We cannot be doing multiple things at once. We cannot truly focus on multiple things at once. At least not while being present and mindful with what we are doing.

This week I worked out a lot, had a nutrition coaching session, and went to a social event (Flex Happy Hour! – way out of my comfort zone but worth it!), but I didn’t do any laundry throughout the week, and Noah did all of the meal prep – planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. This week was a great example of balance not actually being a “thing.”  I also notice the reverse being true – when I get stuff done around the house, I am usually working out less and not socializing.

Chris Burkard has a 4-burner metaphor for life that I really like. He talked about it on The Stokecast podcast. His 4 burners are: career, family, friends, health. He says that in order to be successful in life you have to turn off 2 of these burners; in order to be wildly successful, you have to turn off 3 of the burners. He said for a long time he had neglected his health and social time with his friends in favor of more work on his career aspirations. Turning off a burner doesn’t necessarily mean that you stop doing the thing entirely – for instance stop going to work because you are mainly focused on getting healthy. It may just mean that maybe you’re not spending extra hours at the office or on professional development in favor of going to the gym, or maybe you’re skipping happy hour with friends in favor of meal planning and grocery shopping. Maybe sometimes some of the burners are just on low so that others can be on medium or high.

A lot of this comes down to values and prioritizing time – and these things can change day to day, week to week, month to month. I do think it’s important to be very clear about what you value and how you want to spend your time in order to get your life to align with your values.

Lately, for me, this has meant turning the family burner lower in favor of the health and career burners. It doesn’t mean I love my family any less, it just means that in order to take care of myself right now my main focus has to be on other things. After finishing my Masters in Public Health and starting a job back in the insurance industry I have been at a real crossroads professionally and experiencing a sort of mid-life career crisis. I thought that working a job I was good at, that spoke to my skillset, would be fulfilling, but it’s not. I’ve done some real soul-searching to try and figure out what my next step is professionally. I’ve got student loans, a car, a house, and other debts to pay off so I can’t just not work in favor of leisurely soul-searching. This has meant lots of listening to personal development podcasts featuring people doing cool things – The Adventurepreneur Playbook and The Stokecast mainly. Over the last few months, I have re-discovered that I really do love wellness coaching and want to continue that. I also really love training and development in the professional setting. The trick for me will be to find a job that could combine these activities or allow me to pursue wellness coaching as a side hustle. This is going to mean more sacrifice in other areas in order to achieve the things I am dreaming about that will make my soul happy.

All this is my long-winded way of saying that work-life-health balance is a fallacy. In order to achieve great things in one of these areas, something has to give in another area. Trying to juggle it all: family, friends, work, leisure, self-care, or healthy living practices is not easy. But spending the time to check in with yourself and be honest about what you value and trying to get your life to align with those values can result in fulfilling work, satisfying relationships, and positive health outcomes that will make your soul happy. And wouldn’t the world be a much better place if people’s souls were happier and we shared that happiness with others?